Desert Rat

126 degrees and I just can't get enough. Summer has crept upon us like a two ton sledge hammer. No more gradual rates of heat plumes, this is the 21st century version of "it wasn't me" and "I didn't know the gun was loaded." I feel as if I am living in a wonderama dream/nightmare machine of pre-WWI army mobilization; only on a permanent scale.

We can't help ourselves. The drive to do right has been replaced with an inescapable bureaucratic haze of indifference, backbiting and finger-pointing. Small social victories are a step in the right direction, but the behemoths are not to be coddled easy. We are in this for keeps. To believe that any one country on the planet can assume the role of "steward of the Earth" is madness. To further believe that the U.S. is that country borders on the criminally insane. Hell, we can't even trust our own citizens.

I just moved out of the most hellish place (sociologically) to the most hellish place (climate-wise). I am happier because of this (and I just got my internet up after two months without it.) I am no longer a statistic on a chart (although realistically who isn't) drudging through some fairy tale version of success for some egocentric boss who believes in this shit we call "the real world." I am back to my calling hoping that in my narrow view of this world that I can do right and maybe soften the dread that is to come.

One soul at a time. This is my mantra.

Unfuck the World

"Good is all that serves life, evil is all that serves death. Good is reverence for life... and all that enhances life. Evil is all that stifles life, narrows it down, cuts it to pieces." (Erich Fromm 1964)

In Spite of it All

I have remorse, rage and regrets, but I have no doubt that this is still the best I can hope for in spite of it all.

May you be at peace with all your demons and put them aside when you listen to this.

I did.

Tribulations

Can't kill it,
Smoldering ruins left in its wake.
There is substance still,
This spirit never dies.

Stardust, molecules forming,
Dissolving, reforming,
into eternal oneness,
Forever changing; forever staid.

I'd laugh if I could,
I'd cry and scream.
I'd shake the very foundations,
of a world besotted.

There is no hope,
but only in hope lies salvation.
The dichotomy of truth,
petty plagues that give life to the NEW.

and...

Finally...

forsakes the OLD.

Forgiveness

Aren't we such a permissive sort.

I have your back until you become the varmint I despise. Many people speculate. I don't...

Don't become the asshole or dick you really are.

I might survive your bullshit

Complications

Jeesus fucking H Christ, I am so  overwhelmed by the idiocies of our race, gender, religious bullshit that I can't break my way out of a paper bag if I tried. Is not our existence based upon the rightness or wrongness of an action.

Race: What does this really mean? Is there some "race" that is superior? I hardly think so, so we can disregard this as a means to determine rightness or wrongness (unless you are a true racist).

Gender: This is so ludicrous it should not even be mentioned except for the fact that many women who have grasped power do it through the prism of patriarchy. They are but pawns of the existing order. This is not their fault, it is the fault of our perception and our grasp of a rightness or wrongness of a position regardless of gender.

Religion: There is no redeeming value for religion within our techno-modern world. Religions have become nothing but another of the malignent 501 (c)(3)s that have plagued us with their false hopes and tax dodging.

We can do better than this. I have no singular solution for our maladies except this:

• There are two classes and there have always been 
• We are not a part of the elite class (the BIG ONE).
• You have more in common with your supposed enemies (race, gender, religion) than you do with the other class (the BIG ONE).
• Voting, demonstrating means nothing to these people (they are bought and paid for).
• Refuse to work, in collusion with others like you, for a day, a week, a month... whatever it takes.

Remember this; they have been fighting this battle since the beginning of history. Your little battle means nothing. Our many battles will topple them.

If you are comfortable, be happy...

If you have been upset by this turn of events then maybe you need to rethink your allegiances.

The Locomotion

The sirens are calling me. I hear them in my sleep. I see them above the rocky shoals, yet I must proceed. It is what I was born to do. I have little ambition, but I have a heart that beats with a rhythm that elevates me and, by extension, my soul to heights of wonder. Call it a "survival instinct" if you must, but I am forever trapped in a moment of clarity where the edges are frayed with a constant beat of lingering uncertainty. It is the human way. It is my human way.

Where has the time gone? I speak of youth as if I am still there. I speak of troubles and hobgoblins (real or imagined) that dwell in the recesses of our reality. I am convinced of my reality and have a pretty fair assumption that your reality exists, also. The differences are distorted only by perception. Unfortunately, from my perspective the fluctuations originate from me and flow outwards. A rather egocentric view, but it is the best I have. I can comprehend most realities at both an emotional (myth) and intellectual (history) level.

What I believe is ground in reality. MY REALITY. I will always respect (love) the human who saves lives. That respect is lost if that human believes this gift to be an entitlement. Power is not a tool lightly used. Especially the power over human life. We will evolve or perish. There is no alternative. In an extended historical view the choices we make determine our situation and, ultimately, our fate.

Hints abound and I hear whispers of an awakening occurring.This both enlivens me and excites me. We must abandon the past to its only useful purpose (as a guide and warning of the pitfalls that await us.) I trust in our youth. They have learned from the best we have to offer. It is only through their heightened awareness of our bullshit that humanity may be redeemed. I do hope some of us have done their job..

The future will unfold with or without humans. This much seems true. In a universe as wonderful as ours it seems ludicrous to believe that a world of salesmen should be our our only hope. It might sell well on the home planet, but its baseness, superficiality and deceptions make for bad comedy (see Disney for the blueprint). My part has been scripted for me. The predestination I perceive is of my own (myth) making. I will never abuse that power. This is as close to truth as I will ever come.

Joy to the world and the collective sound of our souls. We are special but we can never be exceptional. Perfection like that is reserved for gods.